How Far We Have Come - But Have We Really?

A hundred years ago I would have been considered to be an old maid. As I walked in the marketplace they would have whispered to one another as I passed by. "It's just too bad." "Poor girl." " I don't understand, she's so beautiful." As they shake their heads in pitty.

Being a thirty-something unwed female just wasn't propper. It wasn't the decent thing. Surely there must be something wrong with her then. My sisters would have resented me because my father would not allow them to marry before the eldest daughter was. That was the way things were done at that time. But have we really changed all that much since those days?

Both of my younger sisters are married with children.My brother (the baby) has a daughter with a son on the way. Then there is me. The oldest of four. No husband, no children and no prospects ( not due to lack of effort from the opposite sex).

I chose a different route for myself. I was going to be the career woman, strong and self sufficient. But at what price was that choice made? I have been told that my standards are too high. Well I must admit, I have change them somewhat recently but remain firm on a few. For one, he must be a practicing Christian. That for me is a prerequisite. However, even that has levels of acceptance. I can't be with a fundamentalist that thinks his woman should be a subserviant submissive. I have become to independant for that.

Even in daily activities such as a conversation in line at the market I'm faced with the labels of years ago. Oh they don't say it, but you can see it in the look on their face. I remember an incident at the market where a woman was in front of me with her kids. The children were getting a bit antsy and she politely turned to me with this look of " God help me" on her face. I smiled and simply said," I wish I had that kind of energy again." Without looking down at my hand to see if their was a wedding ring, she smiled and said; " How many kids do you and your husband have?" I replied that I wasn't married and had no kids. I can tell by the look on her face that she was sorry she asked along with the pitty.

Don't get me wrong, I would love to be married and have children of my own. But if the cards haven't been dealt that way at this time, why is it that modern age women have become the "pittied generation?"